Vacating plans, they are a-progressing



With Michelle at The Pink Door restaurant

Let's see, what's happened since my last post?  Great news!  We're getting kicked outta here.  The magic day is June 6.

We started bothering them about scheduling the last series of tests.  And by bothering them, ya gotta understand our motivation techniques.  What I've found works really well is to stand right next to the person and repeat over and over, "hey, did you schedule those tests yet?"  I keep repeating that without stopping.  Some people are more resiliant and I have to poke them in the shoulder while repeating the mantra, "hey, did you schedule those tests yet?"  It's very persuasive.

Scott, Heidi, Meagan, Jan, Cameron and Scott
(one is Great Scott and one is Lesser Scott)

The result of all that persistence manifested on Monday when Heidi went in for her routine blood test at 9am.  She found out then they scheduled a bone marrow extraction that morning.  Unfortunately I wasn't there.  Double-unfortunate because the doc did the procedure instead of one of the usual nurses.  Double-unusual because he decided to extract from her sternum instead of the pelvis.  How double-double unlucky is it for all of you that I wasn't there to video record?  To be exact, he drilled in to the Manubrium.  Look that one up in your Funk n' Wagnells.  For those of you who don't need to look it up (David, I'm typing at you), you can direct your spelling corrections to Heidi because she is the one who informed me about this chest part that I was previously unaware.  And to think that there was a part of Heidi's chest I was not aware of.  hmmmm. . .

How cool is an Acrobatic show during dinner?

Which now makes me think about how I can't wait for the first opportunity to say something like, "check out the manubrial confines on that chick!"  Well, perhaps I won't say it out loud.  I won't have to if I'm walking with any of you, because you'll be thinking it along with me.

Where was I?  Focus.  Ah, exit, stage-south.

Tuesday was the exit Pulmonary test.  This is the one Heidi had told me about from the beginning where the big bad nurse uses her persuasiveness to measure how much air you can breathe in and how hard you can expell your lungs.  Heidi said it was really funny how much they yell at you during the procedure.  Just as an aside, everyone should appreciate here how there are many flavors of persuasive people here and I am but one of many cogs in the inspirational machine.  <poke, poke> hey, are you still reading?  <poke> hey, I'm talking to you.

Double fortunate for you that I was able to attend the pulmonary test and video record the entire thing.  Double bummer that the usual pulmonary test nurse, the one with extra hefty persuasiveness, who really knows how to inspire you to grind out a breath, wasn't there.  The video is still good.  Not sure when I'll post it, since none of you ever watch my videos anyway.  Fewer still are still reading to this point either.  Especially with the gratuitous use of the word double.  That's an example of what we call in the blog business of literary inflation.  I just made that up.

Getting back to remaining tests.  After the pulmonary function test, Heidi had a chest xray and a bone density scan.  I didn't stick around for those, partly because I didn't want to learn more unfamiliar things about her chest. 

Today was the routine weekly medical team meeting.  Heidi also had to endure four more tests/exams.  There were the naked mug photos (actually done while wearing underwear) taken in yoga positions to assess flexibility.  She had a skin core taken (not as gruesome as it sounds), and then exams with the dentist and gynecologist.

The only things remaining are a meeting with the nutritionist, long-term care class and the end-of-treatment consultation meeting.  Unfortunately, or perhaps this should be called triple-unfortunate, the last of those is scheduled for June 6.  In the meantime, we are creating lists of things we gotta do before we go.  Some we have to do twice.  Those are the double-do's.  You know what I mean.