Epilog



Running along the Riilto River Trail

The Hickman line is out.  In October of last year, the University Med Ctr here in Tucson installed a power port in Heidi's chest to administer many drugs and draw many blood samples.  In February at SCCA, that was replaced with a Hickman line by Dr. Petty.  Hence the nickname Port o' Petty.  Dr. Petty thought that had a nice Caribbean sound to it.  I was trying to to trash talk him by making it sound like an outhouse.  Some of my best slams are lost on some people.  That's why I envy Groucho Marx, because he could insult people and they'd appreciate it.

Removing the Hickman line was a huge moment, because it represented one of the last lingering reminders of that whole ordeal.  I was excited to record the procedure on video and stills.  If it had been removed in Seattle, they would have done it in the clinic during a routine procedure.  Here in Tucson it required a visit to the hospital.  We asked everyone involved what it would take for me to be present and they all replied that it would be no problem.  It turns out we asked the wrong people.
 

Downtown with Kevin & Tama

I drove from work and met Heidi at the hospital to go through check-in, paperwork and gowning.  We started asking the staff about video recording the procedure.  "Oh, no, it's a sterile environment," replied one nurse.  "You need a radiation dosimeter," said another.  "You would have to sign the paperwork as an observer," retorted a third.  (Yes, we kept asking everyone, hoping someone would give a different answer.)

We explained how I had been present at almost all previous procedures and made many a tech famous on youtube.  The nurse then asked, "are you a doctor?" 

Immediately I am drawn to the movie Ghostbusters in the scene where the four heroes are fighting the evil goddess Gozer on the rooftop.  Gozer asks Dr. Ray Stantz if he is a god, he replies "no" and so Gozer smokes them with lightning from her fingertips.  After they recover, Winston says, "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you answer YES!"

Unfortunately, I've been living in blog world too long.  For instead of taking Winston's advice and answering yes, I realized this would play right into a blog entry where I tout my fake doctor credentials and the doors open all the way to the procedure room.  So I proudly told the nurse, "no, I am not a doctor—I have a Master's degree!"  The look on her face told us immediately that the correct answer would have been yes. 

It was quite a shock, coming from a facility where the caregiver is considered a vital member of the wellness team to a place where my role was to hold my wife's purse while she was in the procedure room.  The fall from fake medical expert to purse holder was more than I could take, so I went back to work. 

For that reason, I have no new videos to show.  Ah, no new videos of medical procedures, but new videos of hair growing.  If you think watching paint dry is entertaining, take a look at these.  I have one of  both of us, one of Heidi and one of Scott.  We took daily photos from when we got our hair cut until a few days after arriving home. 

This represents the last significant chapter in getting over Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  Heidi is still on many pills and we have many bills still coming and there are many more checkups and tests still ahead.  But none of that is worthy of a blog entry.  Thank you, readers, for putting up with my venting, boasting and stream-of-conciousness drivel. 

Thank you especially to all who have joined the National Marrow Donor Program.  For those of you who are still on the fence, there is no reason to stop considering it.  Laurie V just sent her cheek swab and is now on the registry.  The chance of getting chosen to donate bone marrow is 1 in 350.  The chance of getting chosen to donate to someone who lobs insults about your bone structure, names you after a Brady Bunch character, and generally blames you for everything is practically nil.  Heidi's anonymous donor, who I lovingly refer to as Marsha, is a life saver and also a perfect 10 out of 10.  She gets our special, special thanks. 

At a Tucson Padres game