Revenge of the 50-foot Pelvis Woman



A ban on makeup calls for extra accessorizing

Day 28 bone marrow came and went.  You're probably thinking to yourself, "self, why do I bother reading this blog when Scott can't seem to deliver the important news on time?"  Well, you can tell yourself (since we're referring to you in third person—you started it) that there is a reason.  It will be revealed at the proper time. 

Marchello called today.  He is the current attending oncologist, who Heidi describes as having a sexy italian accent.  Marchello said Heidi's T-cells are 88% donor and two other thingies were 100% donor.  There may be a technical term for thingies, but that is Heidi's translation of latin terms spoken with an Italian accent. 

It has occurred to me many times that, although we do not know the identity of the donor, she may know us.  She could have googled "heidi leukemia," found this blog and is currently getting furious over my comments.  Perhaps I should refer to her instead as the lovely and generous donor.  Which she is. 

Heidi's suspected GvH turned out to be something else.  She has a rash on her neck and eyelids, but Dr. Marchello looked at it and said it was something other than GvH.  Actually, he said something more like, "Whatsa matter, neutrino?  You got ze itchy bizness?"  Then he went off on what sounded like peppercinis.  I could be thinking about dinner.

I have a theory about Heidi's ailment.  Itchy eyelids are the clue.  Who is the last person we met with itchy eyes?  It was grandson Cale, the pinkeye king.  I contend that Heidi contracted conjunctivitis, but the broad-spectrum high-power antibiotics, antivirals and anticootie meds she takes prevent most of the symptoms.  I'm a fake doctor and that's my story.

Which brings me to the reason for not posting yesterday.  I felt like shit.  I have/had some kind of illness.  Migraine and achy everywhere, but no fever.  Nurse Denae suggested we call on an alternate caregiver, but Alex is sicker and Robin is out of town.  Being the fake doctor, I called upon my extensive training and mayoclinic.com to determine it is unlikely I have the flu.  It is still possible I have Lyme disease, polio or rocky mountain spotted fever.  I believe my symptoms also match some diseases endemic to equatorial South America.  It appears to be mostly over now, so hopefully Heidi is not at risk anymore.
There is one other possibility.  Cale the virus bucket gave me walking pneumonia.  Okay, I don't really have the symptoms of pneumonia.  I just wanted to say Cale the virus bucket.