With all sincere apologies to brother David, I gotta vent.
Two months ago Heidi started feeling fatigued. Her doctor didn't want to take it seriously. She was easily tired, but nothing really seemed serious. She started going through test after test and everything came up negative. Because of the lack of positive evidence, we tried to go on a hike 2 weeks ago in Madera Canyon. Just an easy 6 mile round-trip. After a couple hundred yards she had to turn back. This whole time the cardiologist said her condition was not serious and her internest had no interest in her symptoms.
Then we went to the hospital for the angioplasty and her blood came up anemic. That event started the klaxon horns. Ever since that moment, the nurses, doctors and staff have been on edge. They wouldn't let her leave the hospital. We (mostly me whining) asked why. Then they wouldn't let her leave town. We (mostly me whining) asked why. Then they wouldn't let her fly on an airplane. Keep in mind, all these they wouldn't's occurred after 4 transfusions. Before the transfusions, she felt like shit, but nothing was serious. After 2 nights in the hospital and 4 transfusions, the sky was falling, but Heidi felt fine.
So who do you believe? The medical practitioners who said everything was fine when she felt like shit but predicted imminent doom after she felt fine, or Heidi, who said she felt . . . like shit before and better after? Or me, who says . . . well I say she still looks damn good.
Well, I can accept some indecision. Unlike where I work, this isn't rocket science and her condition is, admittedly, not routine.
Chapter Two. While in the hospital we discussed options, precautions, care, prognoses, diagnoses, etc. and thought we had the whole story. Turns out the hemetologist didn't order what later turned out to be important genetic tests with the bone marrow. These tests, says the latest oncologist, are very important to detemine the course of treatment. Turns out further, that the original diagnosis is being questioned. Maybe Heidi doesn't have Acute Myelogenous Leukemia but something else called Myelodysplastic Syndrome. All this is uncertain at this point because of the non-conventional way the original hemetologist secured the bone marrow sample and sent it in (or didn't send it in) for tests. In other words, the second doc wants to secure another bone marrow transplant and send it in for tests in the conventional way. So tomorrow Heidi gets to go to the clinic to extract more bone marrow. The original warning not to leave the hospital, which was postponed to checking in tomorrow, is now being postponed till next week.
Two weeks ago it was very strictly verbotem to leave anything or anywhere, and we had to decline our non-refundable airfare to admit to the hospital this week. This week, all previous results are out the window and plans to check in are out the window and past the back yard.
So here we sit, uncertain of a diagnosis and uncertain of what treatment will start when. Oh, and uncertain of what outcome to expect. Heidi went on a leave of absence 2 weeks ago. I am still at work, even though this week was supposed to be vacation. Ever go back to work early for some less-than-appealing reason and have to sit at your desk wishing things were not as they were?
Where am I going with this? I'm not sure. I said writing this blog was partly just therapy for me. I feel better now.
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